My daughter is approaching age 18, so there is a lot of planning going on about her future. Some of the planning involves her team of social workers, and me. Some of it includes her directly.
When I adopted her at age 46(she was 3), I never imagined the changes that would take place in both of our lives. I did not expect to feel old at 60. I did not expect to be a single parent. Am I expressing regret over the adoption? NO. Not at all. I’m just saying that my plans back then did not adequately consider rogue events.
I think it is important to plan. I think that based on what we know about my daughter’s development and her emotional state now, we will come up with a wonderful plan….a plan that will take into account every situation that we can imagine. It’s those situations that are outside our view, beyond our wildest imaginings that could derail the plan. God knows her future. He knows her need. And I am confident that he will provide what she needs even if her team and I can’t foresee it.
Will I lose sleep over the plan, or over her future? No, probably not. I will make every effort to be sensible and careful. I will consider possible outlying events, and wherever I can, make them a part of the plan. That doesn’t promise planning success, but is does eliminate guilt and regret and those are the things that tend to keep people up at night.